its been quite a journey so far between all the doctor visits i've been dealing with. to be honest, it is beginning to wear me out emotionally. well, today i found out all the results. a few good things, a few things that could be better.
1)in the month that i've been taking Metformin, my cholesteral has improved quite a bit. my glucose test came back fine. my insulin though is still at the midrange, so its something to keep an eye on. overall though i'm not diabetic, which was a suspicion to begin with.
2)my blood pressure is great, the best its been in a long time...thanks to the blood pressure pills. so i'm to keep taking them. however, when the doctor was checking me out before refilling the prescription she heard something funny in my heartbeat. when i check it myself i feel it beating 8 or 9 times, then a pause, then like 4 times, then pause, etc... the doctor said that whats really going on is an extra beat is occuring. so just to be safe i'm going to a cardiologist friday to make sure nothing funny is going on
3) the HSG (tubal x-ray) came back just fine..tubes are open..nothing blocking the egg there
4)my iron is still very low. i found out i was anemic in college,and it hasnt gotten any better over the years. just gotta remember to add an iron pill to my daily pills.
5)the level of FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) is low. in the words of my doctor "there are too many indians and not enough chiefs" :) this means that my ovaries are not pushing the eggs out like they should-there is not one dominate egg out there to be fertilized. a reason causing this is because the estrogen in my body is out of whack. so in order to fix this thats where the fertility drugs come into play. you have to fake your body into thinking that its time to release an egg -by suppressing the estrogen levels.
6)the ultrasound showed that in fact there were small cysts on the ovaries-thus proving the Poly Cystic Ovarain Sydrome (PCOS) diagnosis. by taking the Metformin this will help controll that by helping to regulate ovulation.
6)the most interesting thing i found out though is that i have an underactive thyroid. you can read about what happens in your body when this occurs here. just like when i read about PCOS and thought "geeze, thats me!" i felt the same reading about the thyroid problem. the doc wants to put me on something for that,too. .again with the PCOS its something that for all i know i may have had my whole life but nobody ever caught it.
7)doc said that i'm a carrier for strep like i had thought. but she couldnt say for sure whether or not thats where the meningitus came from.
SO...what does all this mean??? it means that the doctor wants to put me on fertility drugs. and thus, it brought me back to the ethical question---do i feel right about taking them?? not only that but it turns out that my insurance wont cover infertility treatments. they cover diagnosis, but not treatment. the nurse showed me how much it would cost to go through the fertility treatments each month...not a cheap thing!!!! and then if the drugs dont work (they only let you do it for 3 months) the next step would be a laparoscomy to check out more things inside. and then we'd have to do invitro-fertilization. all in all its gonna cost a pretty penny.
Ultimately i want to be healthy,regardless of having a child or not. so after much talking and deliberation chris and i have come up with a plan of our own- first thing is to get me healthy. getting the heart,thyroid, PCOS,anemia all in sync. because no matter what with those things out of balance my body is not able to function properly as it should, and no wonder i have not been feeling well. besides, if i were to get pregant i want to be able to carry the baby full term without any risks involved like there would be otherwise. so we're gonna take a few months to get healthy. second, give mother nature another try. once i'm healthy again, then trying to concieve on our own might not be as difficult. third, consent to the fertility options. i'd rather not go the route of fertility drugs if i don't have to, but if it really is the last option than i'd be willing.
There is still a long road ahead of us. and of course, if God wants to bless us sooner than later, I won't object.. I just want to be in His will no matter what. thats the frustrating part. medicine is amazing, doctors are amazing, but i know he is the Ultimate Physician and can do anything He wants and in His time. patience, i just need patience, and to rest in Him no matter what!
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