TV QUOTES

I have decided to make a list of my favorite quotes from some of my favorite TV shows (with help from http://www.imdb.com/!) its a good way to pass the time since things are very very slow at work.

HOUSE

"You've never seen an after school special? Dawson's Creek? How do you get to thirty and not know about condoms?"

Cameron:"You okay?"House:"Hurt my shoulder playing fantasy football."

"Some idiot gave me two tickets for a play tonight. Saved his life. Apparently worth $186."

Foreman: "I had a date last night. She screamed too. You think we should spend a hundred thousand dollars testing her?" House: "Of course not. This isn't a veterinary hospital. Zing!"

"Is this an intervention? You're a little late, since I'm not using drugs anymore. I am, however, still hooked on phonics."

Dr. Gregory House: Fine. I'll ask one of my other friends. Dr. Wilson: Huh... Dr. Gregory House: What? You're saying I've only got one friend? Dr. Wilson: Uh... and... who...? Dr. Gregory House: Kevin. In bookkeeping. Dr. Wilson: Okay, well, first of all, his name's Karl... Dr. Gregory House: I call him Kevin. It's his secret friendship club name.

Dr. Gregory House: Like I always say, there's no "I" in team. There's a "me" though, if you jumble it up.

FIREFLY

Dr. Simon Tam: Captain, why did you come back for us? Mal: You're on my crew. Dr. Simon Tam: Yeah, but you don't even like me. Why'd you come back? Mal: You're on my crew. Why are we still talking about this?

Jayne Cobb: Testing. Testing. Captain can you hear me? Mal: I'm standing right here. Jayne Cobb: You're coming in good and loud. Mal: 'Cause I'm standing right here.

Book: If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of Hell. A level they reserve for child molesters... and people who talk at the theater.

Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: This sounds like something from Science Fiction. Zoë Washburne: Honey, we live in a space ship. Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: So?

STARGATE SG-1

Jack O'Neill: [Stuck in a continous time loop with Teal'c] If it were just me, I'd agree, but what about Teal'c? Come on, is this the face of a crazy man? [Teal'c and Hammond look at him] Jack O'Neill: Bad Example...

Teal'c: Things will not calm down, Daniel Jackson. They will in fact calm up.

Jack O'Neill: Teal'c, you don't have to stick around. Teal'c: Undomesticated equines could not remove me. Jack O'Neill: Wild horses, Teal'c.

Sam Carter: It took us fifteen years and three supercomputers to MacGyver a way to power the gate.
(great line because Jack is played by Richard Dean Anderson who also played MacGyver)

Jack O'Neill: I'd rather have died myself than lose Carter. Anise: Why? Jack O'Neill: Because I care about her. Way more than I'm supposed to.

Teal'c: Are you considering the strategy I'm considering? Jack O'Neill: The clichè is "Are you thinking what I'm thinking? " And yes, I am.

Cameron Mitchell: Ladies first. Vala Malduran: [turns to Daniel] Well, then, after you.

Jack O'Neill: I remembered something. There's a man. He is bald and wears a short sleeve shirt. And somehow, he is important to me... I think his name is... Homer.

Daniel: Their whole world is in flames - and we're offering them gasoline. How does that help? Teal'c: We are in fact offering water. Jack O'Neill: Thank you. Daniel: I was speaking metaphorically. Jack O'Neill: Well stop it. It's not fair to Teal'c.

Jack O'Neill: What now? Teal'c: I have read of a place where humans do battle in a ring of JELL-O. Jack O'Neill: Call Daniel.

Jack O'Neill: ...I do appreciate that you were the one to come and see if I was okay. That... that means something. Daniel: Ah... actually, no, it doesn't. Jack O'Neill: No? Daniel: Um... we, ah, we drew straws. I lost.

Jack O'Neill: It's always suicide-mission this, save-the-planet that. No one ever stops by just to say 'hi' anymore.

BABYLON 5

Major Krantz: What if we take you with us, put you on trial. Zathras: Zathras not of this time. You take, Zathras die. You leave, Zathras die. Either way, it is bad for Zathras.

Ambassador Londo Mollari: Mr. Garibaldi, just now, would you really have killed me? Michael Garibaldi: Yes. Yes, I would've, but I'm just as glad I didn't have to. The paperwork's a pain in the butt.

Ambassador Londo Mollari: But this - this, this, this is like being nibbled to death by... what are those Earth creatures called? Feathers, long bill, webbed feet... go 'quack'... Ambassador Vir Cotto: Cats. Ambassador Londo Mollari: Cats. Being nibbled to death by cats.

Susan Ivanova: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places where you must walk.

G'Kar: It is said that the future is always born in pain. The history of war is the history of pain. If we are wise, what is born of that pain matures into the promise of a better world, because we learn that we can no longer afford the mistakes of the past.

Citizen G'Kar: I believe that when we leave a place a part of it goes with us and part of us remains. Go anywhere in these halls, when it is quiet and just listen. After a while you will hear the echoes of all of our conversations, every thought and word we've exchanged. Long after we are gone, our voices will linger in these walls for as long as this place remains. But I will admit that the part of me that going will very much miss the part of you that is staying.
(sadly, Andreas Katsulas who played G'Kar passed away due to lung cancer 2/13/06)

Dr. Stephen Franklin: I realize that I always defined myself in terms of what I wasn't. I wasn't a good soldier like my father. I wasn't the job. I wasn't a good prospect for marriage or kids. Always what I wasn't, never what I was. And when you do that, you miss the moments. And the moments are all we've got. When I thought I was going to die, even after everything that's happened, I realized I didn't want to let go. I was willing to do it all over again, and this time I could appreciate the moments. I can't go back, but I can appreciate what I have right now. And I can define myself by what I am instead of what I'm not. Captain John Sheridan: And what are you? Dr. Stephen Franklin: Alive. Everything else is negotiable.
(sadly, Richard Biggs who played Dr.Franklin passed away 5/22/04 due to heart problem)

HEROES

Mohinder Suresh: My father spent his life chasing after this insanity. Now I'm wasting mine trying to prove he was sane.

Hiro Nakamura: My only concern is should I hide my true identity? A costume maybe? Ando Masahashi: You start talking about capes and tights and I'm out of here.

DAWSON'S CREEK

Pacey: Emilio Estevez. He was in those Ducks movies. Man, those were the best.
(the reason this is such a great line is because the actor playing Pacey, Joshua Jackson, was the boy star in the Mighty Ducks movies with Estevez)

Dawson: All the mysteries of the universe, all the answers to life's questions can be found in a Spielberg film.

Joey: So we're friends, and then we're a couple. And then friends again, and then we're a couple. Dawson: So? Joey: So what are we now? Dawson: Dawson and Joey. Joey: Do you think every Joey has a Dawson and every Dawson has a Joey? Dawson: I hope so. For their sake.

Evelyn "Grams" Ryan: A moment. A single moment of true joy is more powerful than a lifetime of sorrow.

Bessie Potter: Yeah, but it only counts as one and that first kiss. It's the passionate one. It's the one filled by desire and attraction, and all of that, but the second kiss is rational. You got time to worry, and over analyze and most women... they prefer that first kiss, but I'm partial to the second one because it's about something more.

Jen: What is this feeling? It just seems like everything's getting smaller and smaller. It's all still there, but I just can't touch it. Jack: I think it's called good-bye.

7th Heaven

Rev. Morgan Hamilton: We cannot fight hate with hate. What are we teaching our children today? That will make things better tomorrow?

Eric: There's always going to be somebody who'll try to take your dignity and self-esteem. Just never let them take your voice.

Eric: Well, the wind is real, but you can't see the wind. You know, you can only see the leaves rustling in the trees. Pain is real but you can't see pain. You can only see tears. Happiness is real, but you can't see happiness. You can only see the smile on someone's face.