so i'm sick, again. this is like what, the 4th or 5th time in the past 3 months? this winter has sure been brutal.
this tme though i'm giving in. i just cant do it all anymore. i'm so tired. and not just physically. but i'm tired of everything i have to do--being a full time stay at home mom (plus working at an office on saturdays) is really hard. dont get me wrong, i love my husband and child. and i'm so grateful to be able to stay home with caitlin (we couldnt afford daycare even if i wanted to..this week is the registration for Mothers Day Out in the fall at our church. i was looking forward to getting her into something like that and being able to have some time to myself while she was there. but then i saw the price. nope. no way is that possible for us. drats) anyway, i need a break. i'm so burned out. and i'm not talking an hour here or there, i mean like several days in a row.
but i cant take a break. its not possible. even if by miracle i could afford some time away when i got back there would still be a house to clean from when i was gone. and there wouldnt be anyone to watch caitlin for those few days anyway while chris was at work. so i might as well forget even dreaming of the idea. i'm just stuck.
sorry for a pity party of a post. but thats just how i feel. maybe its the cold talking, but i'm tired of pretending that i'm feeling ok.
2 comments:
Hey Lani,
I know we haven't talked much in awhile but I do check your website frequently. Sorry to hear you're sick (again) but I know what you mean about getting away for a few days. One thing I did with Ben is started a MOPS group. You can look them up on line at different churches in the area. It's just twice a month for 2 hours, but I so looked forward to those Weds mornings of Ben in daycare and spending time with new people. They usually have scholarships available too! Not the best thing but Caitlin could get some social interaction (you said she enjoys that) and so can you! When we lived in SA I met two other moms at MOPS and (after getting to know them) we started a co-op. We picked one day a week and it was great knowing on Thurs. morning Ben could play with other kids and I got 3 hours to do what ever. (even if it was just going home to be by myself!) I don't know it that helps but I'm thinking about you!
leslie...oh my gosh!!!! how have you been? i had no idea that you kept up with this blog. where are you guys stationed now??? drop me an email sometime and fill me in! hope you are well!!!!!!
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