progress

i am happy to report progress is being made. i am finding it easier and more delightful to take care of Caitlin. the frustration level has gone way down, and i am getting a better understanding of who she is as a person and how to handle that. it has made a big positive difference in our relationship. i'm sure alot of this is due to the zoloft, as i dont feel so overwhelmed anymore and have not cried in over a week. that alone is progress as i used to cry several times a day before and felt like giving up. so things are smoother now. i'm not planning on staying on the zoloft for too much longer, maybe a month more or so. i just needed some time to get a grip. its amazing though how much clearer things are when your hormones,etc are not controlling every thought. i mean, something so basic dawned on me that shouldve been obvious earlier- caitlin has only been in this world 6 weeks. she is truely a "tabula rosa" or blank slate. she is learning and seeing everything for the very first time. once i fully got that i was like "duh lani!" and able to deal better. this week she found her voice and has been cooing and "talking". it is so wonderful to hear her do that!! anyway, i look forward to posting more positive reports from now on!